Nos llega este anónimo de internet que reproducimos íntegramente para nuestros lectores bilingües. Descubrirán que los angloparlantes son unos sosos y cómo las multinacionales tratan de anular la personalidad de los hispanoparlantes.

Una carta de una multinacional a todos sus miembros hispano-hablantes:

To : All Spanish Members

Several visitors to our office have brought to our attention that our Spanish-speaking employees commonly use offensive language. Such behavior, in addition to violating firm practices, is highly unprofessional, offensive both to visitors and employees, and will not be tolerated.

Therefore, we have decided to implement a series of rules in our office and would expect them to be applied. It is expected that ALL employees immediately adhere to these rules:

1- Words like coño, carajo and other such expressions will not be used for emphasis, no matter how heated the discussion may get.

2- Non important matters should not be addressed to as jilipolleces.

3- You will not say la cagó when someone makes a mistake, or se cagó en su madre if you see someone being reprimended. All forms and derivatives of the word cagar are inappropriate in our environment.

4- Lack of determination will not be referred to as falta de cojones or mariconerías, nor will a person with lack of initiative be referred to as cagón, mamón or comemierda.

5- No Manager or Supervisor, under any circumstances, will be referred to as hijo de puta, ese cabrón, or ese maricón.

6- When a good proposal is presented, the term esto está de puta madre must not be used.

7- Unusual or creative brainstorming meetings will not be referred to as pajas mentales.

8- Do not say como jode if a person is persistent, or se jodió if somebody is going through a difficult situation. Furthermore, you must not say qué jodienda, or esto está del carajo when matters become complicated in your line of work.

9- When asking someone to leave you alone, you should not say vete pa'l carajo, nor will you substitute: ¿qué carajo quieres? for may I help you?.

10- When leaving the office, using the term me voy pa'l carajo is not proper.

11- When any office equipment fails, it must be reported as it broke down, not se descojonó, or se jodió la mierda esta.

12- Last but not least, after reading this memo, please do not say me voy a limpiar el culo con esto. Just keep it clean and file properly.